It's harder to have done what I have done that it seems. I don't know what you perceive of it nor will I know until I find out but it is a risk I have to take. There is no other motivation behind it other than the measures of selfishness otherwise known as self preservation, at least emotionally.
After meeting you, being able to know you and helping you, I've become a better person as well as wanting to become a better person because of it. I'm not perfect nor do I think I am a superior person for having done, the things I have done.
However, I believe that I will honor it only if I get what I at least deserve but I do know that what I deserve is something that you will have to decide.
I know my actions are easily equivocated by others and there is no reason for me to be able to be distinguished from others but I leave up to hope, a chance.
I only wish to be able to return to the person that I am, the level of content which I am used to and want to be able to have. My only realizations is that with you, my state of content is never filled because of what I wish to be able to mean to you.
My intentions are never wished to be associated with conditions of normality.
I cannot reveal to you my thoughts and with good reason in doing so because mine are with complications and for the sole reason of my thoughts being mine to bare.
I can only hope that you have a glimpse of what I'm thinking but even that, it might be hard to hope for.
This could either lead to a fresh start or the end.
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